no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
