i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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