i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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