I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Randomize