No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
