Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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