The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Why did my mother make you get naked?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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