Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
