I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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