maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
