I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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