if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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