I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
