On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
