Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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