Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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