break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just pee around me
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