When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She bit a glass in half.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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