i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
