He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
how does that bad decision feel?
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