i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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