did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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