Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
