I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
how drunk are you?
Several
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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