Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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