this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
