This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
There r osticjed everywhere
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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