32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just cropdusted the office
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
