So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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