i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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