I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize