i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
