My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
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