No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
operation have a gay friend backfired
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
