just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
