where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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