you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
