Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
