When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
