Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
