and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
