I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
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Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.