This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.