After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so explain again why im purple
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..