if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
