Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
