girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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