He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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