the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
