In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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