I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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