I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize