sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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