HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Randomize
