Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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