I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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