I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
