Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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