We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
