This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
