you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
