if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I think your dad took our porno
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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