we made out on top of his cat.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
