Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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