cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Buhtt sex?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I will be naked everywhere
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize