Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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