I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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