break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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